Excruciating pain, somewhere deep in your chest, somewhere where no doctor can help but by removing your heart; a weight like no other…a broken heart. A close member of the family, a dear friend, or even words from a hater can cause this. Even though many minds rush to high school flames when this article mentions broken hearts, the above too are examples of the same. Some hearts are even broken when the one, one loves passes away. Furthermore, with new technological developments hearts are breaking in different ways from the traditional ways. The healing process is necessary if any of these scenarios result in someone bouncing back stronger, to live life to the fullest. Understanding that when hearts break, it becomes difficult to live with and love oneself, let alone live with and love someone else, I realized all scenarios required the same healing. This article will suggest baby steps to take on this path to healing. These steps will hopefully, ‘naturally’ morph into adult steps. I will not endeavor to say they are easy but I will say it is possible to heal, and these are a few steps to help you along on this path. I will begin the, at the beginning, which is always a good place to start
Step number 1: Grieve!
Grieving is what makes the rest of the steps possible, and thus is a very important starting point. Mourn that which has died in you or in your life. Weep and find some alone time as well as time with friends where you mourn and get comfort from your surrounds or friends. Accept, your anger, and resentment and let them take their toll. Pain may last for a minute, or even years, but it will eventually dissipate if you work on it. Moreover, you will emerge stronger than before, so grieve…
Step number 2: Say it out.
The silliest and most childish step, yet the most important of all. Ever imagined how a child can forgive quickly, come back into your arms smiling, but two days later s/he can remind you of your offence. Most children’s stories spoken aloud to adults do not make much sense. Children are in the middle of telling themselves a story that happened when they remember they want to tell you too. They begin exactly where they were in telling themselves. The point here is they tell themselves, in low whispers, or mentally, simple recounting with no taint of analysis. This is what keeps memories vivid and fresh in children’s minds. Yes, say it to yourself, whatever it is. It maybe how you are feeling or how angry you are, or how hurt you are. Saying it out keeps it vivid but it also keeps it real and stops it from enlarging in silence. This helps in handling any situation, as long as something does not seem bigger than it is, it becomes possible to overcome it.
Step number 3: Dwell on the positive
Keep your mind on anything good, wonderful, and full of fun. Do things that make you smile or that make you laugh aloud no matter what. If you do not remember what these is talk with friends and let them help, you enjoy life again. If you have no friends anymore, you will get them back soon, dwell on the nice and beautiful around you…look for these and let people be drawn to you by your joyful healing spirit.
Step number 4: Let Go
This is very necessary on this journey. Forgiving is a huge topic to many but I will summarize it thus. To forgive is a choice, make it, and execute it. Do away with the desire to want to remember the hurt and hate. STOP! Let go and breathe in brand new air. Free that perpetrator and free yourself in the same move.
Step number 5: Love yourself
When the pain stops, what next? Good question, but here is an answer, love yourself. Dream again; envision your future as though you were just being born. Be your own good friend, love your body, your beautiful/handsome face. Remember you are not immune to more hurt so you better build yourself as much as you can. Loving yourself is a good place to begin.