Ever wondered why things never really worked out for you in your past relationships? You could have missed some of these key steps in sustaining a relationship
Below is a simple ten-step on how to.
Goal: A goal is the driving force/ locomotive for any activity in life. So as longs as you do not have a goal for your relationship then you heading no where. Set goals right from the start for instance “are you relating to get married some day? Relating for fun? Meet a certain need or overcome grief? Goals also help us evaluate ourselves and see whether we are achieving or not even before things go bad. In setting goals, you may also set standards on what to do and what not to do in your relationship.
Open research; If possible gather as much information about your friend as possible before fully committing yourself. Especially information on family background and type of friends. It’s commonly said that charity begins at home so family B/G greatly influences ones beliefs and principles. Also one’s friends say a lot about who they really are that’s why “Birds of the same feathers flock together”
Trust; Trust is an attribute that is built over time depending on how a friend behaves, reacts or handles crises so take time to build trust in your partner. Trust will go along way in addressing external threats to your relationship.
Respect; we all love to be respected especially when it comes to our partners however respect is not demanded, it is earned. Attributes to self respect range from descent dress code, language and sexual purity. Often what seems to be in vogue may not necessarily earn us respect before the ones we love, but once you respect yourself, your partner’s respect will come in handy.
Accountability; ensure to make yourself accountable to someone you respect and look up to. This should be someone with moral authority and one who believes in your success. Such a person can help guide you in your relationship and also follow you up in case of any irresponsibility
Fears; it is undeniable that meeting someone from a different family, class or even culture may arouse some fears in us on how we are to let them know about ourselves and their possible reactions. In a relationship both parties seek to be accepted so a number of people are forced to calculate their conversions. Do not say what you are not simply because you think partner likes it because Pretence will never create room for true intimacy. Always let information flow freely in a normal conversation and avoid being what you are not.
Friends; Make enough friends with the opposite sex without strings attached. This will help you learn more about the opposite sex and appreciate the differences between you and your partner
Involve God right before from the start; human relations are of two dimensions, vertical (relationship with God) and Horizontal (Relationship with human beings). The vertical relation is the most vital and foundational for other relationships to succeed. Relationship with God will enhance a back up for good relationships with man including intimate relationships
Communication; always keep communication lines open in your relationship. Communication may be verbal or non verbal however both are important. Remember No one is perfect so talking about issues/mistakes creates solutions while ignoring them grows them into ‘Time bombs’ in the relationship
Self awareness; While you are in love and being praised so much by your partner, do not forget to always do a self awareness and evaluation check. This should happen even before you fully commit yourself, first know and accept who you are. Self awareness entails identifying your strengths and weaknesses. Your strengths help you build your esteem and act as blocks in building each other. Your weaknesses act as warning signs (red lights) in your relationship
So with a little more knowledge acquired, you can now keep hope alive and try again.