In the present scenario when people are more devoted to their carriers and phones rather than relationships, most of the marriages are going through a rough phase and few are liable for survival. Marriage is a sacred institution and needs a lot of attention and devotion to be nurtured.
The age old wisdom of following fourteen proverbs, if implied with sincerity could lead to a marital bliss.
1) Speech is silver, silence is golden.
Nuts and Bolt are married for a year now. Their arguments are a source of entertainment for the neighbors dwelling in the adjacent flats. One day Nuts came to know of this and she decided to keep quiet if any such incident arose.
The same evening Bolt got angry over something and started quarreling with Nuts. She in return kept calm and did not reply back. Within minutes after speaking his mind out, Bolt was quiet and impressed with nuts behavior. Together they derived the formula to extinguish their fights by either of the partner maintaining a silence when the other looses his/ her temper.
2) Let not the sun go down on your wrath.
The anger is not a virtue to be maintained when the marriage is at stake. The fights should not be lingered on to the next day. It’s best to sort out the differences within the span of a day and start the next day afresh.
3) Blood is thicker than water.
Nuts was in a habit of criticizing her husband’s mother and sister every now and then in front of everyone. This constant nagging perturbed Bolt a lot. Initial fights led to both of them making a constant effort to avoid each other’s family.
The best way out in such a case is to avoid criticism of blood relations and friends of the spouse. If something hurts, it can be conveyed in privacy to the partner in a restrained tone, but the topic should not be breached again and again.
4) Give credit where credit is due.
Nuts put up with Bolt’s sister living with them in the initial days of marriage. Bolt supported Nuts in the house hold chores and later supported her when she was doing her Masters.
As it is said; “Insults should be written in the sand and praises carved in stone.”
Nuts and Bolt both appreciate each other’s effort and they often give the credit of their success to their spouse, making the other feel special and wanted.
As Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe states; “Instruction does much, but encouragement does everything.” In the same manner their mutual admiration, encouraged them to strive and make their relation stronger day by day.
5) A problem shared is a problem halved.
Bolt was facing a lot of problems in getting a promotion in his job as he was less qualified. His official problems were taking a toll of him. At last he decided to share it with Nuts.
Together they came to a conclusion that Bolt would enroll himself for some distant learning course and meanwhile look for a job change as well. Nuts would take the additional responsibilities to help Bolt finish his course efficiently.
6) April showers bring forth May flowers.
Initial endurance and hard work pays great dividends later. For any marriage to work, initial days require a lot of energy and patience. To acclimatize with a new person and environment, one has to fight a lot of odds and change to some extent. But these early sacrifices lead to a very strong matrimonial bond in the later run.
7) To err is human; to forgive divine.
Mistakes are bound to happen. The spouse might hurt each other intentionally or unintentionally. The best way to come out of it is to perceive the other person as a human being who is bound to commit mistakes and forgive and forget the incident.
8) Two wrongs don’t make a right.
Marriage becomes a disaster when revenges are at stake. Nuts insulted Bolt’s friend which hurt Bolt a lot. In return he behaved badly with Nuts’ sister in a formal gathering. This lead to a huge fight between them. Bolt failed to make Nuts realize her mistake as well as soured his relation with her and her family.
9) What can’t be cured must be endured.
Our spouse is not a God. He or she too has his/her weaknesses. Or their might be some habits which irritates us. One should try to help the other person come out of it in a positive manner, But if it still persists, instead of hassling, we should bear it with a smile.
“If you want things to be different, perhaps the answer is to become different yourself.” (As quoted by Norman Vincent Peale).
10) Ask no questions and hear no lies.
Nuts detests Bolt’s mother because of her irrational behavior. Bolt any how cannot break the bonds with his mother. He often visits her. Bolt whenever mentioned about his visits to Nuts, it ended in a huge argument. Bolt now used to lie about his visits.
Nuts gradually came to know of it and for the sake of peace at her home she stopped questioning Bolt about his visits to his mother’s place.
11) You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
There are times when we have to tell our spouse something which might not be palatable to him/her. The best way out is to put it in a sugar coating and present.
12) Bad news travels fast.
Back biting and gossiping about our spouse with friends often leads to shattered marriages.
Nuts often used to share all the short comings of Bolt with her friend who later got engaged to one of Bolt’s friend. Bolt came to know about this through his friend and he confronted Nuts. Nuts had broken his faith in her ignorance and habit of gossiping.
13) Faith can move mountains.
The back bone of any marriage is the faith we have in each other. The courage to stand and support our spouse in all the adversaries leads to a long lasting and a strong relation. One has to become the pillar of strength and support for another in the hour of need.
14) Love is all you need.
Love is the chief ingredient of any happy married life. When we try to love the other person above us, we make a commitment to be there for him /her forever and ever.